Okay well. You may not look at this anymore, that is okay.  Haha.. I guess playing hard to get isn't my thing. I really miss you. It is so hard to break my habit of telling you that I miss you, I love you, or some other cheesy, yet true, statement every night before I go to bed.  I always wonder if you are thinking of me when I am thinking of you.  Like remember when I would be just about to call you and you would call.. that kind of stuff is so weird! I miss my best friend. Don't put that stupid guard up.. I like your natural personality... I don't even know what to call it other than a guard, it is like you just get so hard.. and... I just can't find the words to explain it. It just so isn't you, or the you that you have shown me. I totally get this. And even though like I may not want it, I feel our relationship as one person to another is sooo tight that like I get it.. kind of like the phone call thing or like how even though I used to be like insecure via text I never actually worried that you wouldn't love me anymore, just maybe love someone else more than me, and that is totally possible, it still is.  But then again, I guess I was surprised that you never worried about that happening to you, me falling hard for another bloake. I always tried to make it so you never had any reason not to trust me.  I am glad we are still friends. I am not going to lie, I don't want to go a day with out talking.. even though it will happen, I just don't want it to.  You are my best friend.  Just like Becca, eventually it will come to a point where I am okay to not talk to you everyday because I will know that you will talk to me.. I guess I just need to give you the opportunity to be the one to not just be polite but actually want to talk to me.  You may never read this.. that my friend.. will be okay. I will be okay.  My heart will heal and maybe even be mended by another's. It is going to be alright. I just pray you will be a/my friend.